The Communication Style That Is Costing You Your Best People

Aaron Marcum
Mar 31
5 min read

Last week, I asked you a question worth sitting with:

Are you building a home care agency or are you building your Good Life?

The answer, of course, is both! The Truth of the Both/And, as I call it in EntreThrive, is not just a mindset shift. It requires a very specific kind of agency, one that does not depend entirely on you being present for every decision, every conversation, every crisis.

A team-managed agency. One where your people lead themselves, grow themselves, and hold the culture together even when you are not in the room.

And here is what I have learned: the fastest path to that kind of agency runs directly through how you communicate.

Early in my career as a home care agency owner, I had a communication model, I just did not know it yet.

It went something like this:

Know what's NOT working
Envision what WON'T work
Engineer the way backward
Take fear-based action

I was not trying to lead that way. But that's what was happening. And it cost me dearly.

I had a young team member who wore two hats: Community Liaison and Recruiter. She was sharp, passionate, and hungry to make an impact. One day she came to me with an idea. She wanted to be more intentional about recruiting within the Filipino and Polynesian communities, populations she believed would be exceptional care professionals.

I gave her the green light.

A couple of months in, I sat down to evaluate results. And instead of leading with what was working, I zeroed in on what wasn't. The immediate numbers did not pop the way I'd hoped. So what did I do? I pulled the plug. Fear-driven action. We walked away from those communities entirely.

What I did not see, because I was not looking, was that her efforts were bearing fruit. Seeds had been planted. Relationships were forming. But I was so fixated on the gap that I missed the growth.

She eventually left. And about six months later? We started getting a wave of quality applicants, directly traced back to her efforts.

We circled back to those exact same tactics. This time, knowing they would work.

I lost a great team member over a communication failure. Not a strategy failure. Not a personnel failure. A communication failure. Specifically, my failure to lead with what was working.

And here's what that cost me beyond the obvious: it kept me more trapped in the business. Because every time a strong team member walked out the door, I had to backfill. Re-train. Re-build trust. The Good Life I was supposedly working toward kept getting pushed further out.

Sometimes our communication, or lack thereof, drives our best people away. Or it can KEEP your best. The difference is in the model.

Introducing the KEEP Communication Process

The lesson I took from that experience and from years of working in this industry and within Positive Psychology, eventually became a core element of the KEEP Culture Model: The KEEP Communication Process.

It is built on four elements:

1. Know What Is Working (then what's not) Start here. Always. Identify the wins, the strengths, the things that are already showing up. Then address what needs attention. People can hear hard feedback far better when they first feel seen for what they are doing right.

2. Envision What Is Possible Once you have anchored yourselves in what’s working first, dream forward. What does the ideal look like? What opportunities exist when you build from what is working? This is where you stop reacting and start leading.

3. Engineer the Way Forward Now you build the bridge. Break big goals into manageable steps. Identify what's needed. Create the plan, together, whenever possible.

4. Purpose-Driven Actions Plans mean nothing without execution. This final step keeps action tethered to why it matters, both for the organization and for the individual in front of you.

Why This Fuels the ARCC of Retention

At the core of KEEP Culture is the ARCC of Retention; the four psychological drivers that determine whether your people stay, grow, and give their best:

Autonomy — the sense that they have ownership over their work
Relatedness — the feeling of genuine connection to you, the team, and the mission
Capability — the belief that they are competent and growing
Confidence — the trust that they can handle what is ahead

The KEEP Communication Process directly feeds every one of these.

When you lead with what is working, you build capability and confidence. When you envision what is possible together, you create autonomy and relatedness. When you engineer the way forward collaboratively, people feel like partners, not pawns. And when action is purpose-driven, it reinforces that their work means something.

My young recruiter had the autonomy to try something new. But when my feedback stripped away her confidence and severed her sense of relatedness, she left. The ARCC broke down. Not because of her. Because of how I communicated.

And remember what I said last week: when your team has real Autonomy, you get your evenings back. When they have genuine Relatedness, your culture survives a hard season. When they grow in Capability and Confidence, they stop needing you to be the answer to every question.

And It Strengthens Core4 Alignment

The KEEP Communication Process also strengthens your Core4 Alignment: the alignment between your agency's mission, your team's roles, your culture, and your results. When people are communicated with through this lens consistently, you start seeing it in your KEEP Results:

Know How — your team develops deeper competency and institutional wisdom
Engagement — they show up invested, not just present
Empowerment — they act with ownership, not hesitation
Partnership — your relationships deepen at every level

When all four of those are firing? You are no longer the engine. You are the architect. That is a team-managed agency. And a team-managed agency is what gives you back your time, your presence, and your purpose, the actual ingredients of a Good Life.

Where to Use It

This is not just a leadership framework. Use it in your 1-on-1's. Your team meetings. Your training sessions. Your recognition moments. You can even apply it at home — with your kids, your spouse, the relationships that matter most.

It is a human communication model. And it works across every spectrum of human connection.

The next time someone on your team comes to you with an idea — lead with what is working. Ask what is possible. Plan it together. Then act with purpose.

You might be surprised what you have been walking away from. And what has been waiting for you on the other side of a better conversation.

Join Me on April 2nd

Speaking of building something that lasts, I would love to have you join me for our upcoming webinar: The Exit Ready Agency.

If you are thinking about what your agency will be worth someday and whether it is actually built to run without you, this is the conversation you need to be in. Because an exit-ready agency and a team-managed agency are not two different goals. They are the same goal. And both of them start with keeping your best people.

Register here: The Exit Ready Agency Webinar — April 2nd

I'll see you there — Aaron