The One Communication Mistake That’s Quietly Killing Your Culture

A few years ago, I sat down with a group of leaders I had the privilege of coaching.

A large family home care business. And the culture? Toxic doesn’t quite cover it.

The negativity was hard for me at first. Every difficult conversation started the same way, with everything that was wrong. Every meeting opened with a rundown of what wasn’t working. Every performance conversation launched straight into problems.

I could feel it in the room before anyone said a word.

And here’s what that pattern was actually producing, even though no one could see it at the time.

When you lead with what’s not working, you don’t just surface problems. You engineer a very specific set of outcomes:

Know what’s not working → Envision what’s not possible → Engineer the way backward → Fear-driven actions.

And it will quietly destroy your culture while you think you’re solving problems.

Why the Brain Can’t Go Forward from the Past

Dr. Martin Seligman, the father of Positive Psychology and one of my professors at the University of Pennsylvania, built much of his life’s work around a simple but profound idea: human beings don’t just survive, we’re wired to flourish.

His PERMA-V model identifies the core elements of wellbeing: Positive Emotions, Engagement, Relationships, Meaning, Achievement, and Vitality. Here’s what matters for your team right now.

Positive Emotions and Engagement, two of the most powerful drivers of a thriving culture, cannot be built when every conversation is anchored in the past. When you focus on what’s not working, you don’t just pull people’s attention backward. You close down their thinking. You narrow the field of what’s possible.

Psychologists call this the opposite of “broaden-and-build,” the research-backed finding that positive emotions literally expand a person’s capacity to think creatively, solve problems, and connect with others.

Fear-based conversations do the opposite. They contract. They defend. They dig in.

And when a team is stuck in that posture, they stop solving root causes and start managing symptoms. Endlessly.

That’s exactly what I watched happen in that family business.

Two Years of Work. Then a Warning.

It took real commitment, and about two years, but the transformation in that organization was remarkable. As we shifted the communication pattern to lead with what was working, something changed in the room. Energy returned. Ownership returned. People stopped waiting to be told what was wrong and started bringing solutions.

The key was learning to start every difficult conversation differently. This is what we call the KEEP Communications Process and it’s the activation method that brings culture to life daily:

K — Know What’s Working First. Specifically. Not cheerleading; real, named strengths observed in the work. It builds psychological safety and orients the brain toward capability before it ever encounters challenge.

E — Envision What’s Possible. From that foundation of strength, you look forward. What could this person become? What does excellent actually look like from here? You paint a picture of possibility before you address the gap.

E — Engineer the Way Forward. Now you address what’s not working but as a bridge to possibility, not a verdict on the past. You problem-solve together because you put yourselves in a more positive creative mindset at the start. You ask more than you tell. You build ownership in the solution.

P — Purpose-Driven Actions. The meeting ends with clarity, not anxiety. Next steps tied to why they matter, anchored in meaning, not fear.

The family business turned it around. The culture improved dramatically.

When my coaching engagement ended, the culture was genuinely different. The results were real. But without ongoing reinforcement, without training new team members in the same communication philosophy, the old patterns crept back in. New leaders joined who had never been taught the KEEP process. And slowly, conversation by conversation, the culture drifted back toward fear-driven actions.

Today, they’re largely back to where they started.

This is the most important thing I can tell you about the KEEP Communications Process:

It must be integrated consistently, not just taught once. Every new leader who joins your team needs to understand it. Every one-on-one, every team meeting, every performance conversation is either building your culture or eroding it. There is no neutral.

This Isn’t Just a Culture Problem. It’s a Succession Problem.

Here’s what most home care owners don’t see until it’s too late.

The way you communicate with your team doesn’t just affect morale. It affects your ratings. Your referral relationships. Your staff turnover. Your ability to innovate. And ultimately, the value of everything you’ve built.

Poor communication shows up quietly at first. A team member who stops bringing ideas. A leader who plays it safe instead of solving the problem. A care professional who clocks in and clocks out because nobody has made them feel like what they do actually matters. It starts to feel like a job, not a calling.

Then come the symptoms. High turnover. Declining ratings. Burnout at every level of the organization. A team that waits to be told what to do instead of owning what’s in front of them.

And when a potential buyer walks into that agency or even when you start preparing for an exit, they feel it. Culture is visible.

A toxic communication culture is a valuation killer.

What We’re Learning at Riverside

The KEEP Communications Process is how we start our meetings. It’s being woven into how we engage with each other, how we lead, how we show up. And some days we get it right — and the energy in the room reflects it. People lean in. Ideas come forward. Problems get solved by the people closest to them.

However, we’re not perfect at this at Riverside Home Care.

We slip. We sometimes start with what’s broken. We lead with the problem.

And the moment it happens, you can feel it. The energy leaves the room. The conversation turns backward. People get defensive instead of creative. And suddenly we’re managing symptoms instead of solving anything real.

That awareness, that ability to feel when the room has shifted, has become one of our greatest teachers. You don’t need a consultant in the room to know KEEP isn’t working. You feel it. And when your team feels it too, that’s when the process has truly taken root.

Self-awareness is how integration happens. Not perfection. Recognition.

The goal isn’t a flawless meeting. The goal is a team that knows the difference and cares enough to course-correct.

That’s the kind of culture that retains great people. That earns strong ratings. That innovates. That doesn’t burn out its leaders.

And that’s the kind of agency that exits well.

Weekly newsletters from Aaron and Riverside Home Care

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Until next week!

Aaron

P.S. The KEEP Communications Process, and the culture it builds, is one of the clearest signals to a buyer that your agency doesn’t depend on you. That it runs. That it scales.

If you’re located in Arizona, Idaho, Colorado, Utah, North Dakota, South Dakota, Wyoming, or New Mexico, and you’re thinking about an exit in the next three years, I’d encourage you to visit rivhc.com/founders.

What we’re building at Riverside is designed for founders who want to exit well, preserving the legacy they’ve built while ensuring the people and care they’ve invested in continue to thrive.

Your agency is worth more than you think. Let’s make sure it’s built to prove it.